Another Step Forward

It’s new year, and I have a new job.  I am excited, but my anxiety and depression has been kind of up lately.

I am a Certified Peer Support Specialist, and that was one of the goals that I have accomplished through the help of God.  I was blessed to get a job quick in a mental health facility.  So why am I so fearful?  I haven’t worked in about 2 years.  I build up the nerves to get a part-time job, so I got over that bump.  Start feeling good, but you all know how it started to go. ( Note:  For those that has a mental illness like me)lol  I felt the depression coming on and my anxiety too, but I was holding on.  Then I got the call about the peer support job.  Yay!!!  part-time job, and this is what I’ve been praying for.  Oh no!!  This is a full-time position.   Oh Lord!!!  I went into a big panic attack.  The same feeling when I was about to start the part-time job at the bookstore.  I had to calm myself down before I passed out.  I had to pray to God, and talk to myself.  “You have been here before, and you can do this. It is not bad as you think.  God just blessed you to get over one hump, and now He has blessed you to get over this one too.

I truly thank God for being with me.  Another step forward is what it is all about.  It is not that easy for me, but taking those steps means a great deal.  Yes, the racing thoughts comes. Yes, I want to, and have cried.  Yes, I want to just get into my comfort zone, keep to myself, and times I had to still away to get myself together. However, it is still another step forward.  Yes, the fear of losing some apron strings that I have held on to for years.  I know what I need to do that helps me feel better. However, it is still another step forward, and I thank God for Him holding me every step of the way.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!!

behindthemask

 

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