Years ago I was introduced to an idea and given a challenge that revolved around 3 little words.
I struggle with this. I am often unkind to myself. This week actually has been ok in the thoughts department. I just realized it. So a total plus. Still ultimately I’m my own best friend. I need to treat myself with love and empathy. The way I would a friend.
I always felt like I was losing a battle I didn’t really know I was in. I couldn’t tell no one because I could not talk myself. What can I tell them? Shoot I can’t explain nothing. When I thought I was saying something it wasn’t clear at all. People had their own view of me, and a lot of times they were wrong. I never thought I was more than anyone else. I was quite, shy, and I only talked to you if you talked to me. I wasn’t lazy. I couldn’t stand mess, so I would clean up really good, and that is when I had the energy to do it. I wanted to cook for my family. I would look at all the cooking show, but the thought of getting everything together made me tried. So, I cooked every now and then. Don’t get me started about when I get angry and the rage that comes to my mind 🙊
Some of you can relate to my story. For a long time I felt like I didn’t have a voice. One day I said, “If I could be a voice for others that is going through the something I am going through,” I would speak for them.” Now I am one of the person that has that voice for people that has a mental illness as myself. I advocate for others as well as myself for mental health. Your not alone. Until you find your voice I will fight for you!!
I don’t have a lot, but I will use what God has bless me with.
I will FIght For You! 😀
When did this happen? I had a great time with my family: July 1st Tecka’s babyshower; July 4Th Williams’s family gathering; July 6-8th Our family Dallas, Texas trip. Went back to work on Monday and I was sitting in a group meeting talking about “Triggers”. Did I do too much that triggered my anxiety and depression? What happened? The trip with my mom, my kids, my brother, and my niece was great. So, why do I feel like this? Crying spells, feeling tried, and wanting to hit the couch what’s really going on?
This is nothing new about this situation. Even though this is not my first time, I somehow feel that I should free from this mental challenge. I take my meds, see my therapist, and psychiatrist as I should. I try to do my self-care like I should (so I think). However, I have to admit this is my reality of my life, and I had to learn that it’s okay. I will have my ups and downs at times as long as I don’t allow the “What Happens ” to take my life hostage.
If you’re in a place that your mental health has taken your life hostage, please seek help. I promise you are not alone in this.
Understanding Myself ?? Yeah, wired topic I would say myself. However, that is what popped up in my head for a topic. Thinking that is what I do at times. I don’t understand why I do the things I do or say at times. My younger brother used to call me a Big ?(question mark). He used to get on my nerves when he would say that to me. Like he could just figure me out. Man just to think about, I couldn’t figure myself out at times myself. I thought I knew what I wanted, but as timed passed I was puzzled myself. I was not understanding myself either. At the time I didn’t know that depression and anxiety had a big toll on me. As years passed, I asked the Lord into my life, and asked His Holy Spirit to led me into all truth. My journey had its ups and downs. To make a long story short, (some of us say. Lol) but it is nobody but the Lord that has me here today. I managed and cope the mental health challenges by the grace of God. I have gotten better on understanding myself at times, and know its though God working though every aspects of my life.
Thanks for listening to me 😀
People are going to do what they want to do, and it is not my responsibility to make sure they do the right thing. However, I have the responsibility to do the right or wrong thing. It is my responsibility to choose.
The atmosphere that I my come across may not be the best at times. I have the responsibility to do what is in my control to change my atmosphere: pray, speak positive words, and leave if possible.
I have a God that loves and cares for me, and He has shown me how much He does. God knows what is best for us all, and He is there for us to guide us. I have the opportunity, and the responsibility to go to my God and pray for His divine guidance. I have the responsibility to choose to do what He leads me to do in any situation.
Glory to God
Tomorrow will be my first day back from taking a mental health leave from work. It has been a month of a much need break from work. My anxiety and depression was a mess. I tried to hold it together as long as I could, but it was not getting better. Thank GOd For using my team leader to have a talk with me in her office. God has blessed me with a job that supports my mental health. I work at a behavioral health agency as a Certified Peer Support Specialist. Anyway, tomorrow I will be back at work. Feeling a little anxious: I am excited and not excited at the same time.
In the meantime, remember to take care of yourself. Your mental health is very important just as any other health issues. I admit that I knew that my mental illness was starting to go downward, but I was lying to myself that I didn’t need to step back and rest. Instead the more i tried to push through the anxiety, the anxiety pushed even harder. I needed to do some self-care not only for me, but for those around me.
When it comes to down to it, whatever mental illness a person has needs to get the rest they need. Know what to do when things are getting bad, or listening to a trusted support person that understand your mental well-being. We are going to have good days and some bad days as well. Just know your worth that break.
Originally posted on Beckie’s Mental Mess: “… if we are suffering illness, poverty, or misfortune, we think we shall be satisfied on the day it ceases. But there too, we know it is false, so soon as one has got used to not suffering, one wants something else.” ~ Simone Weil ~ “Stop…