Your so use to saying “I am doing good, ” “I am ok, but you’re not doing good, and you’re not ok at all. You have been hiding behind the mask for so long. People believe you because of your wonderful smile, and bubbly laughter. You at like a normal average person, so they say. However, deep down there is something that is not ok behind the mask I kindly portray. I am not doing good at all. Shoot!! I believe at times I am ok, but there are times I am not ok not one bit. I am trying my best not to cry, and get mad so quickly.
I have learned so much about myself that I didn’t know, and I am still interested in learning more about myself.
If you are tired of the same junk over and over again? Change!
All around your environment is nothing but chaos and confusion. Change!
You feel hopeless. Change!
You feel like your are all alone. Change!
You can not see what is ahead, and fear is taking over your life. Change!
Do you really think I don’t want to Change? Well you are wrong! Right at this moment my mind want let me because of all the racing thoughts, the depression, anxiety, just to name a few is holding me mentally hostage.
If you would allow me to share with you for a moment, what would be helpful for me. Change can happen: believe that I can change; let me tell you what works for me to change, and help assist me in changing.
I know that Change is possible for a person that has been diagnose with a mental illness. Change is my apart of my mental health journey, and a lot has change from my past, and I am blessed for change.
Recovery is possible just look at me!
Once again we start our staff morning meeting, and I just can’t stand to sit there any longer. It use to not be like that in the beginning, but times has changed. I work with individual’s that has a mental health diagnosis, and I love what I do. Sitting in our staff meeting, seeing who is on schedule for the day, and who is going to see who. On our team: The team leader, system navigator, therapists, employment specialist, case manager, nurse, and once a week the nurse Practioner, and me the certified peer support specialist (person with a mental illness in recovery}.
The Elephant in the Room
The meeting starts, its okay for a moment. Then about 15 minutes in; this meeting has went somewhere I surely don’t want to go. Stigma raises its ugly head, and I am just like the Elephant in the room, and nobody notice I am sitting in the room. “Ms. Cookielove is crazy, she is so bipolar she can’t do that.” “well you know what kind of people we work with ya’ll. Mr. Recipe gets on my nerves. Put everybody on the shot! that is just some of the things said. God forbids if I try to comment on something. It might get some attention. I have even been told, ” Jessica you are nothing like that.” Baby if you only knew I say to myself. lol Okay watch what you say, because this elephant in the room will and have to blow off some steam. When you say foolish things about the clients, you are talking about me. I am not your client but I am a client.
Of course it is not because of the money, even though I am thankful for the pay, but it goes deeper than just getting a check. I am living proof that a person with a mental illness can live a victorious life. People say, “I can’t believe that!” “I can’t see that!” I would gladly say, “Believe what you see because you are looking at me.” There is hope, and recovery is possible!”
Elephants in the Room! Raise your trunks, and blow!!!!
Peer support, and advocacy is my joy 🙂
January 29, 2018?? Already it seems like the days are flying by fast. It’s enough that my mind races, and I trying to managed that. Worrying about the future is one thing, fear, anxiety, and depression is the rest that follows. However, I do have some good times. Yes, January 2018 is about to end, but I look back to January 2017. I started working, and I am still working at the same job. Lol I am a Certified Peer Support Specialist and I enjoy it. I think of how the Lord has been there for me when I felt alone. Compared to the many years ago, I am doing just fine. This mental illness still hits me, but I have learned ways to help me on my recovery journey. Not only do I do what’s best for me, but I help encourage others on their mental health journey. We are in this thing together no matter how slow or fast the days go by.
Be encourage you guys😀😀😀